I am on my flight to Denver and I have time to think. I have figured out my purpose. I am the person everyone can depend on. The one that will always be there. The one that will drop whatever … Continue reading
Spring Break done right
Today is the first day of Spring Break! WAHOO!!!!!! Begonia is settled in for the week, Mom is home, and I am off. I leave for Colorado tomorrow, but I am driving down to San Diego today to spend some … Continue reading
Mom is home!
After two months of being in a rehab facility my mom is finally home! She is thrilled and I am so happy for her! I helped her pack all of belongings (four bags full!) and waited for my dad to … Continue reading
One is the loneliest number
I used to love that I could almost anything by myself. I felt empowered. I felt so strong. Now I just feel sad. I feel like a cliché. A middle-aged woman all by myself with a cat. I really want … Continue reading
Daylight Savings is dumb
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And today’s post will be a multitude of random thoughts. 1. I am not a fan of daylight savings. I do not understand the point anymore. California is thinking of getting rid of it and I am proud of my … Continue reading
The Bottle Tree Ranch
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My dad and I were supposed to go to Death Valley this weekend, but the plans fell through. I was very disappointed. I even cried. I wanted to spend the whole weekend in bed and I knew that would not … Continue reading
State of mind today
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This is a post I have wanted to write for awhile. There are some feelings and ideas that have been bouncing around in my head. I have hesitated to share these feelings because I am always whining. Also I know … Continue reading
I need to change that color!
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A few weeks ago I finally hung some stuff on my bedroom wall. I have only been in this house for eleven years and I finally got around to hanging stuff. The ballerina I have had forever. It has hung … Continue reading
I’m exhausted
I am so tired.
So drained.
Losing hope that it will get better soon.
My mom is still in the hospital. My dad is still a problem. My personal life is still DOA.
I feel alone. I feel hopeless.
I am running around doing everything and I keep trying to tell myself that I am doing the right thing.
Things will get better.
Treat others and though you wish to be treated.
I try to live by that quote.
So why am I always alone? Why am I always the one doing everything? Why do people depend on me and I have only me to depend on?
Yes I am whining. Yes I am feeling sorry for myself.
And I do not feel bad. This is how I feel.
I am justified.
I know nothing will change. Tomorrow will come and I will continue to live my life.
Alone.
Don’t worry! I continue to say is all okay, because at the end of the day that is what people want to hear.
Fake it to you make it!
Spectacular ending!
Tomorrow I have to go back to work. In a way I am very happy. I like my daily routine and feeling like I have accomplished something at the end of the day. I am not happy because my hectic … Continue reading