I’m sitting home on another Friday night and a lightbulb went off.
In my almost forty years on this earth I have never had someone that I can call a best friend. Someone that I can call at the end of the day to vent. Someone I can talk to about anything and everything. I spend most if my life alone and I am beginning to think that this is my purpose in life.
I am never going to have what I want most in the world- being someone’s most important.
Realizing this breaks my heart.
I am going to have to learn to live my life all alone. I will probably always have a pet. I will always have friends that I will get together with occasionally. I sure as hell will probably never have a husband and a family. .
I’ll have to be okay with traveling by myself.
I’ll have to be okay with spending holidays by myself.
I’ll have to be okay with doing pretty much everything by myself.
So I have to find peace in myself
That is so hard. I would sell my soul to the devil to just have someone.
I am tired of putting on a smile and being strong.
The truth is I am so weak and tired. I want to give up.
